woman thinking about her identity

Have you ever been to a social gathering or networking event and had to introduce yourself? Did you ever stumble with the words to accurately describe who you are? It can be so awkward. However, when we reaffirm our identity in Christ, we can feel confident in Who’s we are, rather than what we do. Reaffirming your identity in Christ is the foundation necessary before we attempt to set goals or pursue major lifestyle changes. Otherwise, fear, doubt, and negative self-talk will eventually win over even the best of intentions. 

Who do you think you are?

When we face defining “who” we are, we may feel pressured to define ourselves as our occupation, relationship, or otherwise, something that ‘produces.’ In some strange way, it helps us feel more worthy. There’s nothing wrong with answering with, “I’m an entrepreneur, accountant, teacher, or stay-at-home mom.” 

The problem with wrapping our identity in what we do

The problem comes when our identity based on something external doesn’t go the way we planned. We identify in a job, and as a team member we love, and then we get laid off. We identify as a ‘mom’ or “homeschooler,” and then our kids grow up – or they make choices that are opposite of what we would want for them.

This is where I had found myself when my kids moved out on their own. All my life, I had wanted to be a mom. I sacrificed a high-paying corporate career to be home with them and homeschool. Sure, I found a way to blend my love of learning with my love for my kids and earn an income, but I had lost my own identity in the mix.

I was lost and shaken. My world was upside down.

When your world turns upside down

Maybe your story is like mine – or perhaps you’ve experienced a divorce. Once the kids were grown, you might have realized that the only common bond in your marriage was your identity as parents. Your true identity was lost along the way. For some, it may have been a dream job or ministry that fell through. 

It can be a devastating blow. I remember when my husband was working for a big high-tech company he loved. He loved the work, the culture, the perks and wrapped his identity around the role he held within the company. Then one day, he was caught up in a layoff. It was nothing personal or performance-related– they had just moved their operations out of the country. But to him, it was as if his identity had been ripped out from under him.

Events like this are outside of our control, and yet we can take them so personally. We can let our entire identity rest in what we DO or what has happened to us. Even more dangerous is finding identity in what has happened to us. “I am a victim, I am a failure, I am unreliable, or I am unworthy.”

My heart breaks because I know so many women out there have spoken these things and worse over themselves. I’ve done it, and the women I work with within the LighterHer Way program have too.

Self-fulfilling prophecy

The mind has a way of fulfilling prophecy if you know what I mean. If you speak over yourself and believe that you are a failure – then your mind will lead you to take action to make it true. This is what happens when we fail to take captive our thoughts.

But what if we believed we were who God says we are- and spoke THAT over ourselves?

How much would this mindset shift change your daily life and your decisions?

When our identity is grounded in Christ, our automatic response to “Who are you?” may be, “I am a child of God, who is deeply loved. I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Identity is about how God sees us.

Ephesians 1:3-14 tells us we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing; we have been chosen, adopted, redeemed, forgiven, grace-lavished, and unconditionally loved and accepted. We are pure, blameless, and forgiven. We have received the hope of spending eternity with God. When we are in Christ, these aspects of our identity can never be altered by what we do or what has happened to us.

What we know intellectually to be true does not always filter its’ way down to our hearts. Life experiences and allowing the world to define us can be a stronghold to living in the freedom of Christ.

What do we do about it?

Overcoming obstacles of identity

  • AWARENESS is the key to any transformation. When you know better, you can make better choices and get better results. So just noticing these negative words being spoken over you is a start.
  • CHALLENGE FALSE BELIEFS ABOUT YOURSELF. Surrender negative self-talk to God and shine the light of His Word. As much as your mind has been washed with negative words and curses, you want to wash your mind clean with truth, beauty, and honor. God has given you everything you need to demolish strongholds and false beliefs, and He empowers you to do so.
  • SEE YOURSELF AS GOD SEES YOU. Reaffirming your identity in Christ allows you to live in the confidence of Whose you are – not what you do. Your identity is sealed and never changes! How exciting is that?

When you know WHOSE you are, who fights for you, and who goes before you… nothing external can take away your joy.

How would believing the truth about your new identity in Christ change the way you live?

I am accepted

  • John 1:12 I am God’s child.
  • John 15:15 I am Christ’s friend.
  • Romans 5:1 I have been justified.
  • 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 I have been bought with a price. I belong to God.
  • Ephesians 1:5 I have been adopted as God’s child.

I am safe

  • Romans 8:1-2 I am free forever from condemnation.
  • Romans 8:28 I am assured that all things work together for good.
  • Romans 8:35-39 I cannot be separated from the love of God.
  • Philippians 1:6 I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be completed.
  • Philippians 3:20 I am a citizen of Heaven.
  • 2 Timothy 1:7 I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control.
  • 1 John 5:18 I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me.

I am important

  • John 15:16 I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
  • 1 Corinthians 3:16 I am God’s temple.
  • Ephesians 2:10 I am God’s workmanship.
  • Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
  • Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

These 3 key steps are the foundation of the LightHer Way program, which is open for enrollment until June 4th.

  1. Who does God say I am? 
  2. How will I BE to reflect who I truly am?
  3. Character Traits I want to embody?
  4. What would you have to believe to make this true?

Reaffirming your identity in Christ is the glue that makes your new mindset and habits stick for good. I encourage you to get out a notebook and do this exercise this week! You can grab a copy of the show notes over on my website, and don’t forget…

Enrollment is now open until June 4th for the LightHer Way Wellness coaching – a 12-week one on one life coaching program where I walk you through a whole life assessment, help you find clarity about who you are and what matters most -then create a lifestyle that harmonizes faith, family, and fulfillment of your God-given purpose. I’ll show you how to develop healthy new habits, manage your time like a boss, and provide tools, resources, daily support, and accountability for the journey ahead.


Related article: How affirmations form an empowered mindset. 

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