Did you know that 92% of people who set goals quit in less than a month? That’s a startling statistic! As a life coach, my mission is to provide tools and insight to help you create lasting transformation. It starts with the end in mind.
Mistake #1: Creating goals based on where you are now.
The leading cause of failure to achieve goals is focusing on where you are now or the last failure. In other words, most life goals are set in retrospect of the limitation of your last best success – and not on the possibility of so much more.
“I need to create more balance in my life, but I am so afraid to start this journey because every time I’ve tried, my husband/kids don’t support me. I feel like I have to choose between taking care of myself and taking care of everyone else.”
You can probably relate to a very similar thought process of basing your new goals on the previous track record. While it may seem like a safe bet or realistic, it doesn’t push you to the level you desperately desire. What if you based your goals on your future, successful self? Could you drop all preconceived notions and past experiences and flip the script? What could your future, successful self teach you?
Focus on the character traits of your highest self.
Focusing on the character of who you want to BE (rather than what you want to do) will carry you much closer to your destination. Connecting with your desired character qualities empowers you from a much deeper level and propels you closer to success. Most people operate from a “have-do-be” mindset: “I have to DO this in order to BE that.” “I have to deny myself my priority needs in order to keep balance in my home.”
What if you flipped the script to a “be-do-have” mindset: “What character qualities would I embody if I prioritized my needs without feeling guilty or neglecting my family?” What is the character trait you’d need to build? You might change your mindset to, “I prioritize my needs because I am worthy, and when I take good care of myself, I can serve my family better.”
Mistake #2: Letting scarcity mindset keep you stuck.
“I don’t have enough…. (time, money, motivation, support), thinking will get you nowhere. You get more of whatever you focus on, so focus on more. An abundance mindset begins with an attitude of gratitude. When you focus on how much you already have, you attract more. Don’t beat yourself up if you are feeling a little intimidated to take this leap of faith. The good news is that it’s never too late to have a fresh start. It took a lot of time to get to where you are today. Give yourself grace and patience. You GOT this!
If you struggle with distraction during the day, check out this article about how to find focus.
Steps to create a breakthrough goals in your life:
1. Start at the finish line. Imagine yourself at the end of the year or desired time frame. Close your eyes for a moment and visualize your future-self. What does your life look like, and how do you spend your time? What is amazing and wonderful about your life? Create a vivid image of success in your mind. I guarantee that if you can’t visualize it, you’ll never achieve it. Take 10-15 minutes to do this exercise.
2. Identify the character qualities. In your vision, what type of character qualities stand out to you? Some examples may be: courageous, steadfast, confident, consistent, joyful, intentional, or peaceful. These are all qualities that you can control! You can choose to work on your character regardless of your environment and circumstances.
3. Write it down. Now that you’ve gotten clarity on what success looks like, write it all down in the present tense. That’s right, as if it is a stated fact. For example, “I am strong and flexible. Consistency comes easily now. I love my life and am so grateful I said “yes” to this journey one year ago.” Please don’t hold back; get it all out on paper.
4. Be that person. Now that you have visually “seen” your success and identified who you were to achieve it, begin working on your character. You may want to stick post-it notes around your house or reminders throughout the day on your phone. Whatever it is, make these character traits your new habit. Lasting change starts with small, consistent habits over time. Focus on and remain consistent in the little things.
5. Get excited! The idea of being free from “Do this, not that,” and focusing on becoming a version of your best self should be exciting and spark hope!! Character is not reliant on circumstances or environment; it comes from within.
There are more layers to this process, but I hope you find this helpful as a start. This same process is precisely what helped me flip the script in my own life, and I believe it will work for you too.
Want to take the next step? Click here to download my free Life Planner Checklist to help chart your path.